ONLINE COUNSELING IN CALIFORNIA & OREGON
for people pleasers
Learn to prioritize your own needs and set boundaries
Overcome people pleasing
Does this sound like you?
Are you constantly striving to meet the expectations and demands of others, often at the expense of your own needs and well-being?
Do you have difficulty saying "no" for fear of disappointing or upsetting those around you?
Are you always seeking validation and approval from others, going to great lengths to ensure their happiness and satisfaction?
Do you feel like you constantly have to over explain yourself? Or feel like you are walking on eggshells?
Do you have difficulty knowing what you want and need? And have difficulty asking for help?
If you answered yes to these, you may have been left feeling angry, resentful, disconnected, or unlovable, and you don’t know yourself anymore.
How did you get here?
You may have had a difficult childhood or dysfunctional family dynamics.
Maybe your emotional needs were consistently unmet or ignored due to an emotionally unavailable, distant, or unresponsive parent.
You may have had a narcissistic parent, or a parent with narcissistic traits and you were valued for what you did versus who you are.
You fear abandonment; if you say no, you fear you will be rejected or left alone.
You fear rejection, criticism, or conflict.
I’m here to support you through this process.
Counseling for people pleasing, perfectionism, and co-dependecy can help you learn to trust your intuitive voice and live an authentic life.
At some point, you learned that people pleasing was a way to get your needs met. It may have served as a survival strategy in an environment where expressing personal needs was discouraged or punished. It was once a coping mechanism to manage anxiety or avoid confrontation. You learned to be considerate or accommodating, but it has left you feeling overwhelmed, resentful, or disconnected from your own desires or aspirations. Over time, it has led to a loss of identity, low self-esteem, and an imbalance in relationships.
I recognize that people pleasing from trauma can be deeply ingrained and challenging to change. Through a collaborative therapeutic relationship, we will work to identify the underlying causes of your people-pleasing tendencies and help you develop the necessary skills to break free from this pattern. We will work together to help you overcome people pleasing.
What we’ll work on:
Developing self awareness: Understanding the underlying emotions, thoughts, and beliefs that drive your people-pleasing behaviors.
Building self-esteem and self-compassion: Cultivating a strong sense of self-worth and learning to prioritize your own needs and desires.
Setting boundaries: Learning to assertively communicate your boundaries and needs while maintaining healthy relationships.
Identifying and challenging limiting beliefs: Exploring and challenging the core beliefs that fuel your need for validation and approval from others. We will process and work through these beliefs and patterns with Brainspotting therapy.
Enhancing assertiveness skills: Developing effective communication strategies to express your needs, opinions, and desires with confidence and clarity.
Cultivating self-care practices: Incorporating self-care routines that nourish your physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
